"I..." Jag sighed, unsure what words to use. He'd gone through so many different versions of this explanation in his head, ever since Halloween, but now they all deserted him. "It's not something I knew about myself until... two years ago?" He was having trouble looking Val in the eye, and kept dropping his gaze to their linked hands. "But I like - I like pain, and when someone else is in charge?"

He sounded uncertain about it, not because he was, but because he was very, very uncertain about how Val would take it. He didn't think he had ever willingly put himself in a position that felt so vulnerable.