hollow_moon | For Jag

For Jag

Their time together at his grandfather's had been lovely, and spent mostly in bed. Eventually, however, Val had been forced to return to work, and he was certain Jag would have to do the same.

"I've a lot going on in the next week, but I swear I'll call you the moment I've got it all under control," he'd promised- And he'd been true to his word, inviting Jag to join him for dinner the first chance he got.

He'd considered restaurants, but Jag wasn't much for being spoiled in Val's experience. He'd have gladly cooked a meal for the man himself, but he hadn't had a chance to pick up groceries, and they'd never be delivered on time... So he'd settled on a catered dinner at the museum. Nothing too posh, but a nice mix of South Korean cuisine that he hoped Jag would like.

Meeting at the museum meant Val could work right up until the moment Jag arrived- Something he didn't find ideal, but was certainly necessary at the moment while they switched out several of the exhibits and went through various requests to lend out certain items.

"I'll leave the back door unlocked," he'd told Jag. "Just let yourself in, I'll likely hear you coming, but if i don't I'll just be in my office."

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Jag opened his mouth to retort, but then closed it again. Took a second, and then nodded. "All right. But that's not the point. The point's to suss out how to do this without hurting each other, right?"

"Yes, I suppose that's true. ...I'm not sure how though. I'm not sure what we do to avoid what is clearly in our nature. Both our natures," he added quietly.

"I think - we don't fan the flames, yeah?" he offered, with a not that sheepish smile for going for the obvious fire metaphor. "Talk about what we could use to hurt each other, so we can't anymore?"

"That seems sensible," Val agreed. "I'll warn you from now on- When I'm not myself, I mean. I'll warn you, and maybe... Maybe it's best we stay apart on those days, at least at first while we find our footing."

Part of Jag still craved the hardness in Val in those days - but he forced himself to nod his agreement. "Yeah, okay." It was the sensible thing to do. He wanted to say more things, but he couldn't bring himself to, from across the table, so he abandoned his meal to walk around it and wrap his arms around Val from behind, kissing his forehead. "I'm sorry I've ever made you feel as if I rejected you. I'm not at ease anywhere that's too posh, but it's never you."

Val leaned back, then closed his eyes as he smiled.

"I'm very pleased to hear that- I never mean to make you uneasy. Never."

"It's just..." He'd rested a hand on Val's collarbone, and his other one had started kneading at his shoulder muscle, barely even realising that he was giving him an impromptu massage. He just needed to touch him. "I don't know, rich people can be such arseholes. Not you, or I wouldn't be here. Never you. But I guess my brain's made connections and I just... I don't feel right in those social circles. I don't have a place there, and I don't want to." He hoped that that wasn't too blunt, but he had a hard time hedging around the truth. Much better to state it plainly.

"I don't understand why you feel that way- But I don't suppose I can. I've only known this side of things all my life. ...Hopefully we can strike a balance," Val sighed, enjoying jag's touch and melting beneath it.

"Maybe just - work on it gradually, yeah?" Jag offered with a small smile, his hand still instinctively rubbing Val's shoulder. "Baby steps, or something. Let's hold off on evening wear charity events?" He'd just feel like he was in a fancy dress competition, in a dinner jacket.

"That's fair- Though tragic with the Holiday season approaching. I'd very much love to have you on my arm," Val confessed.

"See," Jag stated, before he could think better of it, "that's so far out of my experience that it just sounds to me like being arm candy. I know that's not it!" he added in a hurry as he realised what that sounded like. "I know that." He had no doubt that nothing could be further from Val's mind, and not even because Jag would make terrible arm candy. "I just - I don't even know what it means, really?"

"Well, I mean I was thinking it would be nice to show you off a bit... But no, I was more thinking it would be nice to attend those functions with someone I care for. Someone I want to share those moments with. I know you think it's all very stuffy, and sometimes it is, but- There are women in beautiful gowns, the most wonderful foods you've ever tasted... Mother's Christmas ball is something I look forward to every year. It's always over the top- The kids from the local children's home come and visit 'Santa', who gives out gifts. It's over the top and silly, but- Oh, I love it Jag," he confessed with a soft laugh.

A ball. What it meant was going to a fucking ball. Jag winced at the word, then again at Val's obvious love for the tradition, glad that he was behind Val so he couldn't see his reactions. He bent over to wrap his arms around Val's upper chest and kissed his cheek. "I'll try it, if you like?" Val obviously did love it, and he wanted Val to be happy, even if it meant an awkward evening for him.

"Only if you truly want to," Val replied, shaking his head. "You don't need to decide here and now- There's time still."

That was true, and Jag nodded. He was the sort to make decisions on the fly, without thinking them through, but he could try and be better about that. "Yeah. We'll talk about it."

"Good," Val smiled, coving Jag's hand with his own, then patting it gently.

"Sit, eat some more, hmm?" he coaxed.

Jag hesitated. "I don't like talking about this stuff without touching you," he admitted.

Val was silent for a moment, then put down his fork. "Then let's go sit in my office. We can always reheat this later. Perhaps this is a conversation better suited to my sofa."

Jag felt relieved at the suggestion, and Val's easy acceptance of Jag's statement, his willingness to find a way to help him out here. "Cheers," he told him with a small smile, immediately ducking his head as he stepped back to let Val stand.

"I'm glad you're telling me what you need," Val said as he stood. "It helps, I think. I'm not very good at reading you, Jag," he confessed.

"I'm kind of shit at saying those things, but I'll try," Jag assured him, stepping closer for a short kiss, because that would help, too.

Val returned the kiss, slipping his arms around Jag to hold him briefly.

"I'll try too," he promised.

Jag smiled at Val, and nipped at his bottom lip, before forcing himself to pull back. "Good. Is this what progress feels like?"

"I think so?" Val laughed softly. "Honestly, I'm as new to this as you. My list of past bedmates might be impressive, but as far as relationships go..."

He trailed off, shrugging one shoulder as he reached to take Jag's hand.

"Impressive, huh?" Jag echoed with a playful grin, lacing their fingers together before tugging Val out of the room, and towards his office.

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