hollow_moon | For Jag

For Jag

Their time together at his grandfather's had been lovely, and spent mostly in bed. Eventually, however, Val had been forced to return to work, and he was certain Jag would have to do the same.

"I've a lot going on in the next week, but I swear I'll call you the moment I've got it all under control," he'd promised- And he'd been true to his word, inviting Jag to join him for dinner the first chance he got.

He'd considered restaurants, but Jag wasn't much for being spoiled in Val's experience. He'd have gladly cooked a meal for the man himself, but he hadn't had a chance to pick up groceries, and they'd never be delivered on time... So he'd settled on a catered dinner at the museum. Nothing too posh, but a nice mix of South Korean cuisine that he hoped Jag would like.

Meeting at the museum meant Val could work right up until the moment Jag arrived- Something he didn't find ideal, but was certainly necessary at the moment while they switched out several of the exhibits and went through various requests to lend out certain items.

"I'll leave the back door unlocked," he'd told Jag. "Just let yourself in, I'll likely hear you coming, but if i don't I'll just be in my office."

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"I don't understand why you feel that way- But I don't suppose I can. I've only known this side of things all my life. ...Hopefully we can strike a balance," Val sighed, enjoying jag's touch and melting beneath it.

"Maybe just - work on it gradually, yeah?" Jag offered with a small smile, his hand still instinctively rubbing Val's shoulder. "Baby steps, or something. Let's hold off on evening wear charity events?" He'd just feel like he was in a fancy dress competition, in a dinner jacket.

"That's fair- Though tragic with the Holiday season approaching. I'd very much love to have you on my arm," Val confessed.

"See," Jag stated, before he could think better of it, "that's so far out of my experience that it just sounds to me like being arm candy. I know that's not it!" he added in a hurry as he realised what that sounded like. "I know that." He had no doubt that nothing could be further from Val's mind, and not even because Jag would make terrible arm candy. "I just - I don't even know what it means, really?"

"Well, I mean I was thinking it would be nice to show you off a bit... But no, I was more thinking it would be nice to attend those functions with someone I care for. Someone I want to share those moments with. I know you think it's all very stuffy, and sometimes it is, but- There are women in beautiful gowns, the most wonderful foods you've ever tasted... Mother's Christmas ball is something I look forward to every year. It's always over the top- The kids from the local children's home come and visit 'Santa', who gives out gifts. It's over the top and silly, but- Oh, I love it Jag," he confessed with a soft laugh.

A ball. What it meant was going to a fucking ball. Jag winced at the word, then again at Val's obvious love for the tradition, glad that he was behind Val so he couldn't see his reactions. He bent over to wrap his arms around Val's upper chest and kissed his cheek. "I'll try it, if you like?" Val obviously did love it, and he wanted Val to be happy, even if it meant an awkward evening for him.

"Only if you truly want to," Val replied, shaking his head. "You don't need to decide here and now- There's time still."

That was true, and Jag nodded. He was the sort to make decisions on the fly, without thinking them through, but he could try and be better about that. "Yeah. We'll talk about it."

"Good," Val smiled, coving Jag's hand with his own, then patting it gently.

"Sit, eat some more, hmm?" he coaxed.

Jag hesitated. "I don't like talking about this stuff without touching you," he admitted.

Val was silent for a moment, then put down his fork. "Then let's go sit in my office. We can always reheat this later. Perhaps this is a conversation better suited to my sofa."

Jag felt relieved at the suggestion, and Val's easy acceptance of Jag's statement, his willingness to find a way to help him out here. "Cheers," he told him with a small smile, immediately ducking his head as he stepped back to let Val stand.

"I'm glad you're telling me what you need," Val said as he stood. "It helps, I think. I'm not very good at reading you, Jag," he confessed.

"I'm kind of shit at saying those things, but I'll try," Jag assured him, stepping closer for a short kiss, because that would help, too.

Val returned the kiss, slipping his arms around Jag to hold him briefly.

"I'll try too," he promised.

Jag smiled at Val, and nipped at his bottom lip, before forcing himself to pull back. "Good. Is this what progress feels like?"

"I think so?" Val laughed softly. "Honestly, I'm as new to this as you. My list of past bedmates might be impressive, but as far as relationships go..."

He trailed off, shrugging one shoulder as he reached to take Jag's hand.

"Impressive, huh?" Jag echoed with a playful grin, lacing their fingers together before tugging Val out of the room, and towards his office.

Val almost looked bashful at that laughing softly and walking at Jag's side. It was a rare sight, really. Val didn't really do bashful.

The sofa was plush leather, and he sank into it easily, sitting in the corner with one leg tucked slightly beneath him- there was a slight dent in the cushion, indicating he sat here often, just like this- Though the rest of the sofa looked fairly pristine. As though perhaps when he sat here, he sat alone.

Jag sat down right beside him, folding a leg under him so he could turn towards Val, and keep his hand in his. This was it, right? This was when he told him. "There's something else I should tell you." This was when he ignored the fear lacing his lungs. This was when he risked it all. "About - how I responded to you, when - when the wolf was so loud."

That made Val a touch nervous, but he nodded his head.

"What about it?" he asked, a hint of caution and fear in his tone.

"I..." Jag sighed, unsure what words to use. He'd gone through so many different versions of this explanation in his head, ever since Halloween, but now they all deserted him. "It's not something I knew about myself until... two years ago?" He was having trouble looking Val in the eye, and kept dropping his gaze to their linked hands. "But I like - I like pain, and when someone else is in charge?"

He sounded uncertain about it, not because he was, but because he was very, very uncertain about how Val would take it. He didn't think he had ever willingly put himself in a position that felt so vulnerable.

Val almost looked relieved to be honest. He'd been expecting to hear something far worse. This, however... Well, it wasn't uncommon, actually. Val wasn't sure what it was about him that did so, but he did seem to attract people who liked that sort of thing. ...Maybe it was the boots.

"Oh, right- Domination, or... More than that?" he asked, treading carefully so as not to offend.

"Yeah, that and - some pain," Jag confirmed, then hurried to add, "But I really enjoy regular sex, too." In case it hadn't been made abundantly clear already, but it felt like something worth saying. "I don't - need it, just, the way you were that night... It - called? - to something in me." Did that make sense? He hoped it did.

Val nodded his understanding, then relaxed. "I get that often, actually. I think it's part of why I got so cross. The wolf senses that sort of thing, and I've had people pursue me in the past purely because they wanted that sort of thing from me," he admitted awkwardly.

"I very much want to make you happy, Jag, but- I don't know. I can get a bit rough in the bedroom, but it's not in my nature to be controlling or cruel. If anything, those are things I work hard to keep under control. ...It's part of how I keep the wolf subdued. In my younger years I let him have too much power- I hurt people, Jag. I physically and emotionally. ...I can't go back to that. I love him, I embrace him, but I know the damage he can do, and I wont allow that."

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