hollow_moon | Jag - The Collingwood Christmas Party

The party was always the same. Big dresses, men in fine tailored suits, rich food, bountiful drink... It was opulent and glitzy, and Val sort of loved it. Sometimes they rented ballrooms or hotels, but this year his mother had chosen the family home, wanting to show off the restorations she'd had done, and take advantage of the decent weather that allowed their guests to explore the large and beautiful gardens.

He'd gotten a few curious looks from certain relatives when he'd turned up with Jag on his arm, but most of his family hardly batted a lash- And many were open and friendly, making a point of coming over and saying hello.

His mother, however, had been fairly illusive, so busy flitting about that she'd barely had time to wave hello. It was only now, when Val was wondering if maybe it was time to start heading out, that she seemed to appear out of nowhere and came rushing over. Her hair was a perfect shade of silver, long and thick, but styled neatly into a loose bun. She was wearing a long and flowing evening gown, but her jewellery was simple, a necklace with a single Tahitian pearl, and a set of simple silver channel earrings.

"Oh, Valentine! Look at you," she smiled, cupping Val's face in her hands and smiling warmly. "You've cut your hair! It looks so smart. Still not sure about the eyeliner- Though I'm impressed you can get the waterline filled in so well," she chuckled, kissing his cheek and then taking a step back. "You didn't think you could escape without introducing me to your friend, did you?"

Val smiled, and almost blushed- Though he'd deny it if anyone suggested he had. "Date, actually. Mum, this is Jag, Jag this is my mother, Margaret Collingwood."

Margaret smiled brightly, offering her hand. "Lovely to meet you, Jag."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

jageskro

Jag just looked at him for a few seconds, then huffed out a humourless little laugh, and shook his head. "I'm so fucking lost right now."

From:

hollow_moon

"What I'm trying to say is- I know I've put a lot of pressure on you- Not just tonight, but in general. I push, I don't mean to, but I do. ...So maybe- Maybe while I'm off learning to control the wolf, you should- See if you want what I do, or if you want something else," Val said quietly.

From:

jageskro

Yeah, that wasn't helping. Jag leaned back against the counter, both hands on its edge, as if he needed to brace himself. "By fucking around," he completed, sounding tired rather than hostile." Yeah, that'll give me all the answers." He was just tired, and on edge, and Val said he loved him but was so willing to let him go, and he really, really wanted to go out and pick a fight with the first arsehole he ran into.

He ran a hand over his face, pushed it back through his hair. "I know I want you. That's what I know, Val. I don't... I don't know anything else."

From:

hollow_moon

"I'm not saying you should go out and shag half of London, Jag. Not saying you need to shag anyone, I just- Never mind. You know what, Jag? If you want me to be the villain, I'll be the villain," Val sighed. "I think our relationship, as it stands right now, isn't healthy. It's not healthy for you, and it's not healthy for me. We fight more often than we get on. We pick apart everything the other says. It's not good for us. I love you- I'm mad about you, but that- It doesn't mean this is good. ...So yeah, I want you to be free for a while, while I go off and- Find my inner wolf or whatever, because I'm hoping that when we're reunited, we'll both be on the same page for a change. Because I want this to work, whether you believe that or not, I do."

From:

jageskro

The last thing Jag wanted was to be free, and he closed his eyes for a few moments, swallowing against the tightness in his throat. When he opened them again, he looked more in control - which really meant that he was keeping everything he was feeling on the inside, for now. "Do you want me to go? Right now." It was an actual, proper question, no trick to it; it was him trying not to read too much into what Val had said, despite what his self-esteem issues were insisting.

From:

hollow_moon

Val shook his head, because he honestly didn't.

From:

jageskro

Jag let out the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding, and held a hand out to Val, vulnerability creeping back into his gaze.

From:

hollow_moon

Val took the offered hand, squeezing gently.

From:

jageskro

Jag wanted, needed, a lot more than that, and he took the hand-holding to mean that the more in question was all right. He stepped close and wrapped his other arm around Val, face tucked against his neck, and held on tight, just focusing on the physicality of him.

From:

hollow_moon

Val embraced him tightly, rubbing his back but unsure of what to say. Silence felt safe. ...It felt right to say nothing.

From:

jageskro

Jag just focused on Val, warm and solid and holding him, for a long few moments. Silence did feel safe, but there was another way to communicate. Half afraid that he might be rejected, he lifted his head and turned it towards Val, nosing at his cheek as if to check that it was all right, before pressing his lips to Val's.

From:

hollow_moon

Val returned the kiss softly and slowly, sighing and then deepening it slightly- As though searching for answers between those lips.

From:

jageskro

This was, in fact, the perfect answer, as far as Jag felt. This was right, felt right when they deepened the kiss. It felt like things clicking into place, especially after being so proper all evening long. When the kiss broke, he kept his forehead against Val's, his hand on the side of his jaw. "I don't want to give this up again."

From:

hollow_moon

Val swallowed hard, then closed his eyes. "I don't either," he admitted. "I just feel so... I don't know. I don't know," he admitted with a sigh.

From:

jageskro

"Anxious and awkward and out of your depth?" Jag tried, because that was the way he felt. But it was more than counterbalanced by the other ways Val made him feel.

From:

hollow_moon

"That- Yeah, that about sums it up," Val said, offering an uncomfortable laugh. "Stressed out as well, if I'm honest- Though I think that's more to do with work piling up."

From:

jageskro

Jag pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Val's lips. "I'm sorry if I'm adding to that." He reckoned being about to go off to Tibet was probably not helping either.

From:

hollow_moon

Val rested his forehead against Jag's, sighing softly.

"I'm sorry too, I know I'm difficult sometimes- I know I worry and push people away. I don't mean to really, and I always feel as if I've got such good and logical reasons to try and justify my actions with."

From:

jageskro

Jag's fingers traced Val's jaw in a soothing caress, and he bit his own lip for a second, then admitted, "Better than me, then." Logical wasn't exactly something Jag would claim to be. He wished he could be everything Val wanted, and he hated that he was coming up short by so much.

From:

hollow_moon

"Our flaws, fears, and missteps are different, that's all," Val said, letting out a faint huff of a laugh. "Not sure any of them could be ranked better or worse."

From:

jageskro

"Yeah," Jag agreed, mechanically, although he didn't really believe it. "Hey, I... I know it's not Christmas yet, but." He pulled away to go grab something from his jacket, and handed an unwrapped wolf ring to Val. "It made me think of your tattoo." He didn't know why now seemed like the right moment to give it to Val, but it was entirely possible that part of him felt as if he might not get another chance.

From:

hollow_moon

"Oh, Jag. ...It's lovely," Val said, turning the ring over in his hand, then slipping it on with a soft smile. "I love it, truly."

He looked up then, and some of his fears and worries faded for a moment.

"I got you something also, but I- Well, I wasn't sure you'd want to do gifts."

He admired the ring a moment longer, then turned and headed for the small tree he'd put up, digging beneath it until he found his gift for Jag. A large box wrapped in metallic black paper that looked like an oil slick, topped with a glittering silver ribbon and bow. He'd dithered on what to buy the other man, but in the end had settled on something practical for when Jag was busking in the winter.

"Happy Christmas, Jag," he said, handing the box over and leaning in to press a kiss to the other man's cheek.

From:

jageskro

Jag was so relieved when Val seemed to genuinely like the ring; he'd been worried what to get him, but when he'd seen the ring, it had seemed perfect.

"Thank you," Jag told him with a small smile, then turned to unwrap and open the box - and grinned at the sight of the boots. His were beginning to be a bit shot, and he was thankful for the replacement. "They're great. Thank you." And they were steel-toed, too. He leaned in for a kiss, truly grateful.

From:

hollow_moon

"You like them?" Val smiled, returning the kiss and looking terribly pleased with himself. "I was worried you might not, or you'd think they were too much, but I saw them and thought they'd look perfect on you."

From:

jageskro

"No, they're great," Jag confirmed with a smile, and looked back at them. He was fairly certain he didn't want to know how much they cost, but they looked beat up, even if they weren't (yet), and that was definitely something he liked. "I love them," he added, looking back up at Val with a smile.