Jag - The Collingwood Christmas Party

[hollow_moon]

The party was always the same. Big dresses, men in fine tailored suits, rich food, bountiful drink... It was opulent and glitzy, and Val sort of loved it. Sometimes they rented ballrooms or hotels, but this year his mother had chosen the family home, wanting to show off the restorations she'd had done, and take advantage of the decent weather that allowed their guests to explore the large and beautiful gardens.

He'd gotten a few curious looks from certain relatives when he'd turned up with Jag on his arm, but most of his family hardly batted a lash- And many were open and friendly, making a point of coming over and saying hello.

His mother, however, had been fairly illusive, so busy flitting about that she'd barely had time to wave hello. It was only now, when Val was wondering if  maybe it was time to start heading out, that she seemed to appear out of nowhere and came rushing over. Her hair was a perfect shade of silver, long and thick, but styled neatly into a loose bun. She was wearing a long and flowing evening gown, but her jewellery was simple, a necklace with a single Tahitian pearl, and a set of simple silver channel earrings.

"Oh, Valentine! Look at you," she smiled, cupping Val's face in her hands and smiling warmly. "You've cut your hair! It looks so smart. Still not sure about the eyeliner- Though I'm impressed you can get the waterline filled in so well," she chuckled, kissing his cheek and then taking a step back. "You didn't think you could escape without introducing me to your friend, did you?"

Val smiled, and almost blushed- Though he'd deny it if anyone suggested he had. "Date, actually. Mum, this is Jag, Jag this is my mother, Margaret Collingwood."

Margaret smiled brightly, offering her hand. "Lovely to meet you, Jag."

Comments

[jageskro]

"You'll be focusing on other things, though," Jag stated, raising a hand that was still warm, despite the cold air, to cradle Val's face. "You'll be fine." He would be as well, of course, but... yeah.

[hollow_moon]

"And when I come back, hopefully I'll have changed for the better, hmm?" he smiled, turning his head and kissing the tips of Jag's fingers.

[jageskro]

"No," Jag answered, frowning slightly at Val's phrasing. But Jag was shit with words, and had trouble finding the right words for this. "Not changed, just... in better control? Hopefully." And hopefully, those were the right words for it.

[hollow_moon]

"Right, I suppose that's a better way to think of it..." Val shrugged.

[jageskro]

"I don't know, I just - I don't need you to change, I think, is what I'm saying," Jag stated, searching Val's eyes to see if he understood.

[hollow_moon]

Val nodded, then offered a teasing smile. "You like me just as I am, huh?" he grinned.

[jageskro]

"Something like that," Jag confirmed with a half smile, and couldn't help but lean in to kiss that cheeky grin of Val's. His smiles always did him in, what could he say.

[hollow_moon]

Val returned the kiss, letting it linger, then sighing.

"We don't really have to say hello to my father, we can go if you'd like," he offered.

[jageskro]

"What do you want?" Jag asked honestly. If it was up to him, they'd just fuck off already, but this was Val's family.

[hollow_moon]

"I... I love my dad, I do. I just- I don't want him to make a bad impression on you. He'll be grumpy, he hates parties, and- Well. The first thing he's going to ask when you tell him what you do for a living is ask what you plan to do with your future. He'll ask about job security, about retirement. ...He can't help it, he's just like that. He can't stand when people don't have a plan. Especially when those people are involved with me. ...He worries. About me being taken advantage of, about my future, and he doesn't always come off as caring when he's concerned, even when caring is his motivation."

[jageskro]

"I hate to break it to you, but I already think he's an arsehole," Jag stated with a wince. Val probably didn't want to hear it, but it wasn't as if Jag had ever hidden his opinion of what Val had told him about his dad. "I mean, the bad impression's already made. If you want me to meet him, though, I will, and I'll - behave," he settled on, since that was the idea, no matter how much he disliked it. "Or if you want to go and have a quick word without me around, that's fine, too."

[hollow_moon]

Val actually looked offended for a moment, and started to speak before changing his mind.

"No, it's fine. ...Let's just go," he said, turning to lead the way back out.

[jageskro]

"Hey," Jag called him, catching his hand before he could step back inside. There were so many things he could've said, but he settled for the easiest, safest one. "Are you sure?"

[hollow_moon]

Val shrugged, letting the touch linger only a moment before pulling his hand away.

"Yeah. I don't fancy being on the road too late anyway," he said quietly, his posture making it clear one of his moods were coming on. The sort where he became quiet and melancholy.

[jageskro]

Jag could have kicked himself for making Val react like that, and he had no idea what to do about it. It wasn't as if he would take any of it back, since he didn't want to lie to him. So he nodded at Val, and followed him out of the room, glancing one last time at it, and the balcony, before closing the door behind them.

[hollow_moon]

The car ride back to London was slow and quiet. Almost uncomfortably quiet. He knew his father could be a wanker, but he was still his father, and hearing Jag speak ill of him when he didn't even know him- That made him angry, and anger made Val uncomfortable. It was something he knew he needed to keep in check least the wolf take over.

By the time they arrived at his home in the city, he was simply tired. Emotionally exhausted and honestly a bit miserable.

"You want tea?" he asked. It was the first thing he'd said in ages.

[jageskro]

Jag's emotional journey as they drove back to London had been the opposite. He'd started out miserable - miserable to have clearly hurt Val, and to have cut everything short. But as his efforts to smooth things over between them had mostly been met by monosyllabic answers, he'd ended up shutting up as well fairly quickly. And, locked with nothing but his own thoughts and emotions, he'd progressively grown angry with Val, because being mad at him for speaking his mind was clearly out there, and he'd spent all bloody evening doing his best in an environment that made him feel like shit, Val would be gone in very little time, and enough was enough.

"Are you mad that I already don't like him, or are you mad that I've told you?" he failed to answer Val's question with a scowl. Who cared about the bloody tea. "I thought it was fairly obvious." He'd never hidden his reactions to things Val had said about his father.

[hollow_moon]

Val was silent for a long moment, then sighed. "I'm not mad, I'm tired. ...But honestly, Jag? How can you dislike someone you've never met?" he asked. "I'll be the first to admit, he's not up for father of the year, but he's not a bad man. He's just- Old fashioned and stubborn. ...He's still my father though. He's part of the reason I am who I am."

[jageskro]

"My bio parents are part of the reason I am who I am, and they're fucking arseholes," Jag pointed out hotly, then took a breath. "Sorry. I don't - I don't know that he is one." He hadn't actually abandoned Val, he'd just wanted to. ...maybe this entire story had struck a little close to home. "All I meant was, my first impression was already shit. You can't expect me not to have a first impression, from everything you've said."

[hollow_moon]

Val sighed, then shrugged. "I suppose not, I just don't- I don't want you to hate my family, alright? They're always going to be a part of my life. It's the same reason I wanted you to warm to my lifestyle a bit. It's not just part of who I am now, it's my future. One day, hopefully not anytime soon, that estate is going to be mine. The Collingwood legacy is something I'm going to inherit. My family, my wealth, it's not going anywhere."

[jageskro]

"Yeah, well unless you decide to turn into your bloody father along the way, how I feel about him isn't going to be a problem, is it!" The easy way Val had to project himself this far into the future was beginning to scare the shit out of Jag, and so of course, he only reacted with another spike of anger.

[hollow_moon]

"It is if we're going to have a future together," Val replied calmly, not rising to Jag's level of anger. "And I don't know about you, but I think about the future a lot. I've had my wild years, I'm starting to think about settling down," he admitted quietly.

[jageskro]

"What if I want to be wild, with you," Jag shot back, eyes shining hard, both with anger and impending tears. His lungs were laced with something cold, the opposite of the flames that warmed him so. "Just because you're thinking about the future don't mean you can't live in the now. Fuck, Val. I've spent all evening with you, in a place that makes me - you know. I say one thing, one thing, when it's just the two of us, and you shut down faster than a tom's legs when she finds out you've no money!"

[hollow_moon]

"A charming comparison," Val replied. Though where Jag seemed angry, Val was more- Worn down. Worried even, in a way.

"Can I ask you something, Jag? Do you- Do you even like me as I am?" he asked softly. "That's not- I'm not upset or angry, I'm not trying to start a fight, but- Do you? Or do you just like the image of me, the costume I cling to. I run a museum for gods sake, man. I work late hours, I attend charity balls. Yes, when we first met, I was still a bit of a cad, but these days- I'm quite mellow when the wolf's not in control. If I turned up to our next date wearing a suit and tie, no make-up- Do you think you'd still be interested? Do you want me, Jag? Or- Or do you, maybe, wish I was the man I was before you knew me."

And he really wasn't trying to start a row, his words were gentle and his voice soft. After all, he knew what he looked like still. He looked like the man who'd run off to Mexico once and spent the entire trip high. He looked like the young man who'd bought a motorbike purely to shock his family. He looked like the aimless drifter he'd once been- But that wasn't who he was now. It was just a costume he couldn't seem to part with, an image he desperately clung to, even now as an adult.

[jageskro]

"Yeah," Jag stated, voice dripping with sarcasm, "I'm with you for your eyeliner." Disgusted with the conversation, he fiddled with the bow tie until he managed to pull it off at last. It got thrown onto the nearest piece of furniture, and Jag spoke again as he unbuttoned the top of his shirt, anger back in his tone. "I'm here in a fucking tuxedo, Val. Maybe I should be asking you if you like me for what I am, or what you're trying to turn me into. The minute I don't fit into that - perfect, mellow bloke you want, you question my feelings for you."